I was raised knowing who God was, but I didn’t have much of an example of what it looks like to follow Christ. My family was broken – I bounced from one parent to the other every week – and I struggled with anxiety and depression. In the middle of my freshman year, I switched schools to the seminary at Rock Point Church, and expressed an interest to volunteer for the children’s ministry. But I faced a lot of self-doubt.
I believe God spoke to me through a teacher when he said: “God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.”
For the past two years God has put that phrase on my heart, and I’ve seen it demonstrated in the most amazing ways in my life and Kingdom work.
I didn't completely understand the significance of that phrase until after my first year at CIY MOVE. My small group leader had experienced some of the exact same struggles I had, and our conversations that week inspired me to put my trust in God. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders when I decided to go all-in with my faith. For the first time I believed that He has a plan for me, and He cares for me.
On the final night of MOVE I stood to signify my decision to commit to a life of vocational ministry, even though I still thought I was too broken for Him to use. But now – two years later – I understand why He pushed me to stand.
That decision led me to volunteer for the children’s ministry at church that fall. But I was angry when my leadership team assigned me to the production booth. I didn’t think I would connect with God during worship unless I was out in the crowd, and I asked to be moved. God didn’t let that happen because He knew how much I would end up LOVING that place in the booth.
I realized that my selfish heart almost stopped me from being right where God wanted me. All it took was one week and I was completely hooked. I developed a passion to learn everything about production.
I thought production was just my Kingdom work, but God has shown me it could also be a potential career. He’s taught me how important it is to take care of my faith so that I can pour into others, and He continues to fight my battles with self-doubt.
He surrounds me with friends who remind me that I am good enough because God is more than enough. I’ve written “God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called” everywhere because I believe He wants me to be a part of His plan.
This summer was my last MOVE as a student, and once again I stood at the call for vocational ministry decisions – but this time with a different realization. God has been placing people and challenges in my life to ultimately lead me to where I am now.
A big step recently happened when my production director trusted me to take care of the high school worship session at church while she was on maternity leave for a month.
I’m so grateful God didn’t let me move out of that production booth two years ago. He gave me the resources to learn so much – lights, mixing audio, putting together slides and working with cameras – just to name a few things. I’m planning on getting a degree in production ministry to pursue a career in that field. I’ve experienced moments when I knew God placed me to have amazing conversations and point people to Him. I believe He has equipped me with mentors who love me and call me out when I start to stray away from Him. That’s the kind of love I want to share with others.
I’m awestruck with where God is calling me because He has given me more than I could ever imagine for myself.
Hannah Benzon is a high school senior in Gilbert, Arizona.